The gym is the place where all the weirdos come out to play… and that includes ourselves. From the creepy station stalker to the mat sniffer, every lifter will observe these totally hilarious events at the gym at some point in their lifting career…
The Michael Myers Stare
When someone is waiting on your station, it is usually that one guy who lurks creepily behind the squat rack waiting on you to move along. The whole vibe of it is totally Mike-Myers-stalking-Jamie-Lee-Curtis-behind-a-bush. Sometimes the squat rack lurker gives you the heebie-jeebies which makes you really glad that you took that weight station in the first place… if he ever goes mental you want to be prepared.
The Cyclist Swag
You know that one guy… he is always strutting into cycling class like he owns the place. Maybe he does. Either way, nobody makes that purple headband and spandex look better than he does. You’ll admit it. It really takes a pair to walk around like that so either cyclist guy is the swaggiest dude on the planet or he is the most style-challenged guy to ever live. You are not sure which but he sure is entertaining. This guy never met a weight he liked. Prohormones be danged… and even still – he gets all the ladies.
The Over-the-Top Macho Guy
Every gym has that one dude who not only lifts double his body weight or more but is the expert on prohormones, eating completely clean and keeping the perfect form. All of this is great. The problem is that he wears that tank top thing that isn’t really a tank top but a draped piece of string, has a Duck Dynasty style beard to his stomach and he road in on a motorcycle that probably comes equipped with a shotgun or eight. This guy is pretty over the top but dang if he is not swole. Obviously all this pays off somehow.
The Pilates Mat Sniffer
Pilates and lifting are not exactly twins but when your station is next to the Pilates mats… you learn a few things you cannot un-know – for instance, if a girl forgot her mat and needs to borrow one from the gym… she sniffs it. She sticks her nose in that mat that has been God knows where and she SNIFFS it. If you are sniffing a nose full of butt sweat on a mat then you do not need to even sniff it because you obviously do not care to be a little nasty.
The gym is not good for only building muscle and strength. It is also good for a few laughs. Part of the fun of joining a gym is scoping out the crazies. Since deadlifts and squats can get pretty boring, it is actually God’s gift to lifters to provide a little entertainment around the old weight room. Without all the humor, the gym would be a pretty dull place. So live long and prosper cyclist guy with the purple headband… we need you.